Trump's Mistakes
By Amygdala, as 'Trump'
Trump Jan 18, 2021 6:55 PM EST
Transcript
Brainstem discusses Trump's mistakes with the man himself! NOTE: This is satire
Read The Full Transcript
Announcer: Hello and welcome to the NewsHour interview, where today we have a very special guest.
Welcome, Mr. Donald Trump!
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Trump: Hello, my name is Donald Trump, nice to meet you, you know, the guy all over the news, yes, it's me.
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Interviewer: So today we will be interviewing Mr. Trump and discussing his mistakes.
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Trump: Wait… you want to discuss my mistakes?
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Interviewer: Yes.
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Awkward silence
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Interviewer: Anyways, on to the mistakes. We have been informed that you have forged multiple documents about your tax fraud; you've payed 750 dollars in federal taxes. Is that true?
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Trump: No.
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Interviewer: But we've been informed...
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Trump: Well, we have our different sources and my sources are better than yours …
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Interviewer: Alright...
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Trump: --didn't happen.
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Interviewer: What about your lies?
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Trump: What lies?
Interviewer: Like about how you said the vaccine was coming out in a week, which didn't happen, and the tax fraud I mentioned earlier, and all the other lie--
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Trump: Nope nope nope. You know that I made changes to tax and reformed it.
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Interview: Well yes--
Trump: And I also helped the Space Force by spending 738 billion dollars on it and officially establishing it.
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Interviewer: But you were also racist and sexist and support white supremacists; for example, George Floyd got assaulted by some racist cops because of what--why did the cops kill Floyd?--and you didn't say it was their fault, not to mention how you crushed America’s image into shambles by dragging democracy down into... shambles!
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Trump: No, I didn't, I made alliances with China.
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Interviewer: Well, yes, but you also think that they are spying on America and tried to ban WeChat and TikTok! *Inhale* *Exhale* Okay, how about I change the subject? Specifically to immigrant rights and your “zero tolerance” policy on illegal immigrant enterings. Yes, I know it was illegal but you separated at least 5500 families and now they can't find the families which you took.
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Trump: Families who broke the law.
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Interviewer: Yes, but they are still families who are suffering and dying because of their current economic stance, that's why they want to get into America.
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Trump: Well, that's not my problem, my duty is to protect the Americans, not the immigrants.
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Interviewer: Okay, if you're going to help the people, why are you trying to replace the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, which millions depend on?
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Trump: Because it's better for the people.
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Interviewer: Oh my goodness, no, it's not! It's probably because Obama’s a man of colour! You know, now that I think about it you've always tried to get rid of the things Obama created because you two are opposites! Also, you almost got impeached and crashed down the economy, and the coronavirus itself, and even contracting Covi--
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Announcer: Alright, that's all the time we have today. Thank you for watching the interview with Trump; I hope you have a great day!